why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
