Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
