i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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