my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we're making bets on your personal life
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
