Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize