If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
