come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
