Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is it penis luge time yet?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
