im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
