i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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