wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You're like the curious george of whores
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
