Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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