i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
