About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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