you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
