How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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