It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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