Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
His nipple licking is glorious
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