how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
