Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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