"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
