i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize