I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize