she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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