I wannas sexs uuuuu
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
