ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
