i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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