He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
