so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?