just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off