you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart