So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
