dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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