The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
