I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
