beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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