apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
