Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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