Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
