Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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