so explain again why im purple
no
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
