So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
