I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize