I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was confusing and full of hummus
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
