Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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