ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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