3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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