You work out of a Hotel?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
