The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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