Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
