she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
only if we run a train.
done.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
