Kiss
Puke
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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