Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
