At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
