No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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