So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
