I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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