Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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