I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
