guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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