Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
