I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
