Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
