sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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