Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
time to smoke my breakfast
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
