just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
