it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
