he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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