White coat. Heels.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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