The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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